I finally caved in and purchased hearing aids in early 2019. I don’t generally put them on unless I’m going to a special meeting with a client, want to hear juicy gossip, hear what my kids are saying behind my back or know in advance that the restaurant I’m going to is particularly noisy.
My hearing aids are fancy, with a Bluetooth connection to my iPhone. When I walk into a restaurant I can whip my phone out and turn off background noise and zero in on what my fellow diner is saying. If I don’t do this these hearing aids are so good that I can usually hear the Chef chewing out a cook back in the kitchen or tune in on what someone is saying at another table.
The point I wish to make is that I don’t always wear my hearing aids, so if I’m with you and I’m not wearing them, it might just be a little sign that I don’t consider you as important as you think you are. LOL
My wife Jonette is almost 13 years younger than me and fortunately (for her, not me) doesn’t have hearing problems. So when I tell her she’s mumbling and needs to speak clearly, we both know it’s not her speech but my hearing that’s the only weak link in our communication chain.
If you’re still with me, here’s the little funny that took place a few months ago during a drive back to Houston from our lake house on Lake Livingston. I had asked Jonette to drive because I was having a particularly bad day with blurred vision in my right eye. I was not wearing my hearing aids. Yep, you got it, I didn’t consider what she would be saying would be very important on that day. Just kidding.
In defense of what I’m about to say, I need to point out that there was a lot of road noise on that day (an excuse I used later). We had been silent for several minutes as Jonette sped down the freeway, when out of the blue she asked me, “I wonder if famous singers like Barry Manilow ever get tired of always having to sing the same songs over and over when they go on tour?” I sit quietly, not wanting to reveal I was dumbfounded by her question because it made no sense to me.
I figured I misunderstood her but didn’t want to admit it, then have to explain why I had opted not to wear my expensive hearing aids. Instead, I sat pondering what I thought the question was for a minute or two, trying to process it, thinking I’ve heard every word correctly, when she looked over towards me with an exasperated stare and asked, “Well?” “Did you hear what I said?” I looked at her with a blank look on my face, thinking I perfectly understood her question and responded sarcastically with, “Who in the hell is Larry Malvo? I can’t think of a single hit by anyone named Larry Malvo!”
Jonette busted out laughing, responding with, “No Bozo, read my lips. Barry Manilow – Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow.” Then we both laughed together.
When we are both in need of a good laugh and nothing funny is happening, one of us will simply look at the other and ask, “Who in the hell is Larry Malvo?” and get the biggest chuckle, as if we’ve just heard her question for the first time. Like I said heretofore, the older I get the funnier I have become without really trying to be funny.